Social Penetration Theory

I see the Social Penetration Theory alive and well almost everyday at my job.
I work in a salon & spa, so it’s pretty much an invitation to gossip.
As one of the receptionists, I am pretty much the liaison between client and stylist.
Not only can I see relationships developing between people and their stylist, I notice my personal relationships changing with our clients as well.
I have worked at the salon for a year, and to sit back and reflect on what has changed puts this theory even more into perspective.

According to the two core concepts, I’d have to agree that relationships can develop almost exclusively to the depth and breadth of self-disclosure.
The first time I met a lot of the clients, I didn’t disclose any personal information, and neither did they. It was the normal, boring, breadth without depth, “Hi how are you?” “Good.”
However, my counterpart, Robin who has been there for 2 yrs, had a very deep understanding of their lives.
Some of the clients would almost dismiss me and not bother to get to know me, because they were too busy disclosing information to Robin.
At first it was hurtful to not be noticed, but once it’s put in perspective when applied to this theory, it’s not so bad.
As the months passed I got to know more of the clients, and began to figure out their schedules.
I know who comes on what day with who and when. But that took some time, and so did the conversations.
Just recently have I been able to have conversations on the personal level with some clients.
It’s funny how people treat their conversations; almost like confessions…who else are they going to tell?
Obviously we don’t know their past boyfriends, their mother-in-laws or their homosexual boss, so we are safe.
There’s less risk involved telling a third party, and it gives them feedback from a different perspective.
Self-disclosure is definitely give and take, and when people feel comfortable in their usual environment with the same people week after week, thoughts start becoming chats.
I keep wondering if time really does play a factor in this pattern of self-disclosure, and I think to a certain extent it does.
You are more likely to confide in a familiar face than a complete stranger….and a year ago I was a stranger in my client’s environment.
I also think because it is a salon, social norms are even talked about, what we think is weird, not weird, funny, out of line, you name it and we’ve covered it.
And the stronger that part of the relationship becomes, the closer it gets to the penetration stage. I have seen this happen where people are very willing to release a ton of information all at once, and then just little by little.
Almost as if some of the clients are following the theory word for word.

As for the outcome dealing with the reward/cost analysis, the logic behind benefiting from any relationship is asking, “What does it do for me?”
In my case, as I stated earlier, with the salon there isn’t a huge risk of a personal secret being spilled.
We act as therapy for our clients. They come to us out of their busy little work worlds, and we invite them to come and relax.
When people don’t feel threatened, at risk, or uncomfortable it’s amazing how many layers they are willing to shed.
We pamper them, so in a way they have a feeling of intimacy, and trust because we help them look and feel better about themselves.
In this scenario, I feel the rewards definitely outweigh the cost, because in the end we all just need someone to talk to.