Constructivism

I think there is a time in every person’s life when they don’t get along with their parents.
My time lasted quite a while with my mother. My friends used to always tell me that I told my mom too much information, and I should just not tell her everything. Well it took me a while to realize I had to listen to them. Meanwhile, I was unknowingly developing the ability to anticipate my mother’s reactions. I was producing person-centered messages to my mother where I knew what to say and when to say it, knowing how she would react. I told her in a tactful way enough information to keep her satisfied and not the things she really didn’t need to know. This saved us both a lot of yelling.

I felt this simple interaction also follows suit with the GPA model. My goal was to include my mother in my life, and still use my friend’s advice. So I came up with a plan of action by finding out how my mom reacted to certain activities I’d talk about, or friends I’d be with. She would tell me flat out whether or not she agreed with whatever it was I was doing, and tell me if she liked the people I was hanging out with. Obviously I didn’t take everything she said to heart, but it was more or less a collection of what she felt was acceptable for me and what she didn’t like me doing. So in a way, I then knew what I should and should not tell her, based on her previous reactions.

These procedural records that I stored in my memory served as cheat sheets if I wanted a certain outcome. The last part of the GPA method is the action where I give my big speech and hope all goes as planned! I knew how my mom was going to react if I told her I was with a certain person, so I would just simply say I was out with someone else. That way, I let her know what I did and where I was, so that accomplished my goal. Yet I also hid the fact of who I was with to prevent any sort of outrage, which was part of my plan. It let her know enough to keep her happy, and let me conceal enough to fulfill my goals.